Conversation & Commitment

November 24, 2019

There are myriad levels of conversation, from superficial to deep.  For a conversation to result in forward progress, however, it is the resulting commitment that matters.

We are social creatures and conversation is at the heart of engaging with one another.  Whatever the topic, there is seemingly someone else who is also interested in it, or opposed to it.  The internet can quickly make conversations viral.  Yet most conversations occur in the moment and often do not lead to anything more.

For a conversation to generate commitment, it should be initiated with a desired outcome in mind.  Before starting a conversation, there’s a benefit to pausing briefly and asking “What do I want to have happen here?”  When you can achieve agreement on that end result with your conversation partner(s), progress becomes possible.

Genuine conversation prizes facts, yet respects feelings.  The point is not to beat the other party into submission; that approach describes a lecture.  The point is to achieve mutual understanding and agreement on a path forward; meaningful conversation helps to uncover what you don’t already know, or may not have previously considered.

All too often, conversation employs a variety of Wiggle Words, which are cleverly sprinkled throughout in a way that avoids commitment.  “Hope” is not a strategy, to “try” is not the same as doing, and “soon” is sufficiently vague as to mean whenever.  Such non-committal words leave the door wide open for imagination and inaction.

When conversation leads to clear a clear commitment on the next steps, progress occurs.  It’s possible that the answer could be ‘nothing’, but at least both parties are clear and can focus their energies elsewhere!  But when the answer is ‘something’, it is the specificity of what will happen by when that defines commitment and shapes the outcome.  Whether it’s a one-on-one conversation or a team meeting, the principle is the same.

Conversation and commitment are powerful partners.

Tempus Maximize!

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