Nearly a decade ago, I introduced readers of cultivation(s) to Wiggle Words — those purposely chosen terms of uncertainty that allow someone to say something that sounds like a promise while actually promising nothing at all.

My intent was that the concept would resonate. That leaders would course-correct — indeed some have. 

However, wiggling has not receded. If anything, it has multiplied. Wiggle words have colonized corporate emails, customer service scripts, voicemail greetings and automated replies — and, as I recently discovered, even signs taped to broken gym equipment.

A few weeks ago — and I do mean a few weeks ago — I arrived at the gym to find my favorite piece of equipment wearing a sign. In bold blue letters, it shouted: OUT OF ORDER. Equipment breaks. I understand that.

But then came the repair status report. Read it carefully, because it is a clinic in wiggling:

“We are hoping to get the problem fixed as soon as possible.”

Hoping. Not planning. Not committed to. Hoping — as if the repair is largely a matter of wishful thinking and cosmic alignment.

As soon as possible. Possible according to whose calendar? In my experience, those four words have remarkable elasticity. They can mean tomorrow. They can mean next week. They can, evidently, mean several weeks from now or longer, with the sign still firmly affixed.

In one brief sentence, this sign managed to deploy hope, as soon as, and possible — a wiggle word trifecta. You might be thinking: Lighten up, Bill, it’s just a gym sign. Fair. I laughed when I took the photo.

But wiggle words aren’t just a gym problem. They’re a leadership problem. Leaders who wiggle train their teams to wiggle — and the people on the receiving end learn exactly what those words mean: don’t count on us.

The antidote is simple: Manage the When. Say what will actually happen, and by when. If you don’t know, state that — but commit to a next step.

People don’t remember your wiggle words. They remember whether the equipment got fixed.

Tempus Maximize!